I have been feeling like this for some time now....I DID try to be a grown up once but got bored and gave it up as a bad job...lol....
Spending 3 weeks in hospital recently has just confirmed how pointless caring what other people think about me is....not that this actually bothered me before I went off on my unplanned short stay in Fairyland...just feel even more determined to not give a fuck about stuff I didn't give a fuck about before recent events...IYKWIM.
In case anyone reading this really wants to know...there were 3 attempts to re-start my heart when it arrested...there was no door to the other side...I didn't have my whole life flash by...no bright lights....etc etc. The first thing I recall about my hospital stay was a vague memory of waking up in ICU a few days after I turned up at the hospital.
I doubt I will get back the memories I have lost as I only have recollections from family members to go by if I want to know what happened during my missing week or so. It's like I am building a picture of what has been happening by proxy.
What I have found interesting is the information I remember and stuff I had to re-learn. I couldn't recall how to stay upright without falling over...basically had to re-learn how to walk and how to dress myself. Then when I first got hold of my Android I not only knew how to use it, I knew what it was called....weird shit like this has been interesting to me for years....psychology, neuro-psychology and stuff relating to memory have all been interests of mine for some years now so to have this happen to me has given me an insight into things that I really couldn't have learned any other way.
One of the upsides of having stayed on a hospital ward is that due to not spending much money there I was able to save enough money to buy the fridge freezer I wanted to replace our old knackered one. I bought it on-line almost as soon as I got back home...
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