My Best Friend Just Died

My bestie that died on the 25th November this year. We had shared a home for 9 years. Back in 2013, after a couple of years of chatting on Facebook, as friends, he messaged me to tell me he was in Brighton Hospital, recovering from a leg amputation. We became 'an item' within a month or so and we were totally in love. We moved in together when he left hospital and all was going wonderfully well until 2016.

In March 2016, I collapsed at home with multiple organ failure as a complication of a bog standard cold virus. In hospital, I went into cardiac arrest and then spent several days in an induced coma.

When Billy came to visit I had no idea that we had been in a relationship so assumed this was my friend that was visiting. So when I got back home after 3 weeks in hospital, neither of us really new how to be with each other.

We decided then to scrub round all the soppy stuff and stay together as besties, sharing a place. Right up until he died, we remained best friends and we were each others caregivers, since we both had support needs. We found things to make us laugh every day and he was the best friend I have ever had.

Now, I have thousands of Facebook friends and have met very few of them, so when I announced that Billy I had died, you can guess there were many who told me he watches over me and knows what I am doing.

I really feel like replying "He was my best friend, not Santa Claus' but I generally thank people for their kinds thoughts instead xxx

 

New Book Cover For My Current Memoir

 

I'm still playing about with the book cover design and have started on lots of sections of the book.

As part of my research, I am reading lots of memoirs to see how other people organise their work. I recently read the book above and found it extremely helpful, helpful, so I plan to work my way through it a few times during this writing project.

Femme Forte : We Are As Strong As We Think We Are (Harris & Knight Book 1)

Femme Forte: We Are As Strong As We Think We Are by Ruth Stevens
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Wow! Wonderful descriptions, a roller coaster of emotions, and a jaw-dropping cliffhanger leading me onto the next book in this series.

I'm glad my husband wasn't able to see my screen while I was reading some of the more raunchy bits or it might have given him ideas lol.

I usually read memoirs and classic fiction, so I was surprised I enjoyed this story as much as I did. This is entirely down to the creativity and writing skills of the author.

Well worth a read

View all my reviews

Memories of 2016

 I'd been feeling really unwell with cold-like symptoms and overwhelming fatigue since the summer of 2015. Then in early march 2016, I collapsed at home and Billy called an ambulance.

I was left in a corridor in the hospital for well over 12 hours, then finally got a place in their assessment room. While the medical staff were waiting for test results I went into cardiac arrest and had 3 lots of CPR carried out by a dishy medical registrar (he met me later on).

I then spent several days in an induced coma in ICU and spent 3 weeks in hospital altogether.

Nobody explained why I was so ill, but when I got bored one night on the ward, I read my hospital notes which said I had arrived at the hospital with multiple organ failure.

After I came home from the hospital I had to build a new lot of memories as I didn't know what kind of person I was, nor what kind of relationships I had with family members.

I recognised my husband and stepdaughter when they visited me in the hospital but didn't know how well I knew them. I had to get to know them as new people in my life.

My adult son came to stay with us for a few days after I came home and when I opened the door to him, I didn't know who he was. It's been 6 years since my cardiac arrest and we still have times in conversations where he needs to remind me of some things we used to share memories of.

Carers' Assessment blues

 I had a social worker visit for my carers' assessment recently but it really didn't go well.

The assessment got hijacked by my other half so the only support offered was for someone to come in and help with the housework, which wouldn't help me at all.

Basically, my other half doesn't like me doing a lot of housework as I am also disabled, only, my view is that achieving the housework, helps me with my physical and mental fitness.

My home is the place where we have a private space where we can be ourselves and just be daft if we want to, chat and joke, sing along to the TV and swear at it if we feel like it.

I don't want strangers invading my personal space and neither my other half nor the social worker got this.

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

My Good Reads Profile

Wow!! That wasn't the ending I was expecting! I loved this story. While reading this book I discovered there is such a thing as 'purple prose and this is what I loved best about this book. 

So if anyone is reading these thoughts, if you love lots of lengthy and detailed descriptions of unfamiliar times and places, chances are you will love this book.

It's All Happening Again

 

For the last few months, I have had what appears to be a series of very short-stay colds that last a few hours at a time.

In August 2015 we stayed in a retirement home for 2 weeks while a wetroom was being installed in our flat. During our stay, I became very unwell then the on-off symptoms of a cold didn't let up for months after we returned home.

I'm now becoming increasingly concerned that history is repeating itself.

This is a link to my posts about the development of visual and auditory disturbances that I experience in February 2016

Visual Disturbances

Auditory Disturbances

What happened next!!!

Latest on Social Care Support lol

 It's all fun and games today.

Our local housing department has installed wheelchair access to our flat, but the only place they can put the ramp blocks off access to our gas meter cupboard which is on an outside wall.

Also, I have to walk a much longer distance to put my rubbish out as the ramp's barriers block off access to the area by my door where I keep the bins.

I have mobility issues myself so I'm going to be stuck if it has been raining as the ramp will be too slippery for me to walk down.

How the heck am I going to get the grocery deliveries indoors?